a whimsical poem to show the negative effects of rhyme scheme
he is suave and pretty
anything a man could be
he knew the most pick-up lines
and thus was truly divine
and there was no one in school more fine
he walks up to girls and asks for their names
they answer him sweetly and smile like it pains
he asks them out
they pretend to pout
but of course they’re happy beyond a doubt
in the evening they go out together
when suddenly he sees this girl
the fairest one on earth
so beautiful in girth
as if she owed a fairy to her birth
he knows what to do,
because without her he’d be a fool
he’ll try to land that sexy incarnate of smarm
yes, he would, with his savoir faire and utter charm!
he would walk up to her with cool cucumber calm!
he does so.
he walks up to the charming human doe
tries out a line
one he’d considered most fine
and even made a clever half-rhyme
the girl blinks at him
the boy looked a little dim
he was babbling on and on
something about the depths of his fond
something about their quintessential bond
“sorry, lad, I know you ain’t half bad
especially in that charming way you’re clad
but I can’t accept you
for this here man must be given his due
ah, heck the rhyme scheme – he’s my boyfriend.”
he stares
pretends to look at somewhere away, there
he tries to say something witty
but all he can manage is “gee”
and, um, “whee”.
and there ends the veneer of his charming bravado
for he crumbles at the sight of pure, pure gold.
